Food Awareness Fan Gifts

'Couldn't Jack Spratt eat polyunsaturated fat?'

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Freshest ice cream in town!

Before/After

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"Is the garbage fresh?"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Go on - they're organic!'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

Friendly bacteria

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

"Looks like someone forget her lunch today."

Bedside Manna.

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

The Cud Food Guide

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

Football fans in corona times

Cutlery store: Big Sale! Everything slashed!

"That banquet was most delicious, and yet now, somehow, once again I feel the pang of hunger.'

'I went home the other day and smelt a delicious meal cooking in the kitchen... then I realized I'd gone to the wrong house!'

'Decisions, decisions!'