Food Fan Gifts

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Freshest ice cream in town!

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Before/After

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"Is the garbage fresh?"

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Bunfight at the O.K corral.'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

"What are we doing for Cinco de Mayo this year?"

Bedside Manna.

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

The Cud Food Guide

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'