Fad Food Fan Gifts

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

101 Placenta Recipes

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

'Bunfight at the O.K corral.'

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Sisyphus Pizza

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

'I didn't have time to hunt'

That's my boss for you - a platitude with an attitude.

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"