Food Factory Fan Gifts

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Stretching Spaghetti

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Tzatzikicicle

'Bunfight at the O.K corral.'

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

Sushi Train Spotters

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"They're marinated in hot water for six hours."

'I wasn't going to eat him, but then he tripped right in front of me.'

"What are we doing for Cinco de Mayo this year?"

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"Nah, he doesn't need the Heimlich. I just don't like his tip."

'If I had to kill to survive I'd become a vegetarian.'

"Dad, that's horrible! I'm not trying to roast them: I'm studying them for a school project. . ."

'My wife's idea of the four basic food groups is canned, frozen, freeze-dried and carry-out.'

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

'MILK FIGHT!'

Ahh, Chicken Soup

Unsuccessful Christmas novelty items. Blitzen on a Kitten. Angel on a Bagel. Frosty on a coffee. Claus on your Bras.

"Skunk! How is it?"

'You're fried!'