Fad Food Fan Pillows

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

101 Placenta Recipes

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

'Bunfight at the O.K corral.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Sisyphus Pizza

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"What are we doing for Cinco de Mayo this year?"

That's my boss for you - a platitude with an attitude.

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'