Fried Food Fan Pillows

Golf Sale Next to Chip Shop

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Sisyphus Pizza

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

That's my boss for you - a platitude with an attitude.

'I'm getting the shrimp - it sounds really yummy!'

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

'I usually take my new clients to nicer places. But my expense account isn't what it used to be.'

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."