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'He's on the cyclops diet. He's always got one eye on the fridge.'

'I just love fad diets, I'm on three of them right now.'

"I call it the 'Fasting diet'. Also known as the 'Where's all the food gone?!!' diet."

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"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

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"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

"I'm trying to stick to a Paleo diet. Do you think cavemen had wasabi sauce on their sushi?"

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

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"Well you did say you wanted something gluten, sugar, fat, additives and calorie free."

"So how did you get on with that all-pineapple diet. . . ?"

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The high fibre diet

"I don't know about you guys, but I've had it up to here with the paleo diet."

'It's probably just another one of those 'fad diets'.'

'Dinner is ruined. I brought too many diet's home from the office again.'

'Let there be lite...er, wait. Let me try that again.'

'How much did you lose on your salmon diet?'

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"Another diet?"

"I'm on a grape-juice cleanse."

'It doesn't have a name...it's generic food.'

"How's the banana diet coming along?"

"I can guarantee you'll lose £50 as soon as you hand over your credit card."

'It's a variation of the South Beach diet -- we bury you in the sand till you lose fifty pounds.'