Fad Diet Fanatics Pillows

"I've started a new diet. I'm supposed to put Worcestershire sauce on everything I eat."

All Natural Nothing

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

Toilet roll beauty tips.

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

The cake diet.

"I'm trying to stick to a Paleo diet. Do you think cavemen had wasabi sauce on their sushi?"

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"Well you did say you wanted something gluten, sugar, fat, additives and calorie free."

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

101 Placenta Recipes

"So how did you get on with that all-pineapple diet. . . ?"

"You're overfeeding that baby."

The Sprats

"I call it the 'Fasting diet'. Also known as the 'Where's all the food gone?!!' diet."

'He's on the cyclops diet. He's always got one eye on the fridge.'

The high fibre diet

"I don't know about you guys, but I've had it up to here with the paleo diet."

'Fad Diet regulator'.

"Another diet?"

'Helen, I can't believe you haven't tried shrink wrap! It's the latest thing.'

"How's the banana diet coming along?"