Hospital Life Fan Gifts

"It was a difficult operation, but in the end I won."

'Hope you don't mind, but Brenda here noticed that if she connected the moles on your chest, it looks just like John Tesh.'

Surgeon: Wow! Now That's Gross.

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

Corona Funeral

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

Give me your sick...

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'Where does it hurt?'

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"According to the chart you've either stabilised or flatlined."

'I'm afraid we've removed your wooden leg by mistake.'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"I have some troubling news, Mr. Smithson. You're in my parking space."

'The doctor is putting you on solids.'

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Quick! 5-second rule!

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

Paramedics.

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'