Hospital Life Comic Lover Gifts

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

'Urology...can you hold?'

'Where does it hurt?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'I'm afraid we've removed your wooden leg by mistake.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"According to the chart you've either stabilised or flatlined."

'The doctor is putting you on solids.'

Paramedics.

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Orthopaedist

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"I have some troubling news, Mr. Smithson. You're in my parking space."

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."