Hospital Comic Gifts

'Well, we finally figured out what the problem is...your warranty expired.'

"You can have a local anesthetic or imported."

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

'Well I haven't had a chance to review all your readings in depth, but if I were to be forced to make an educated guess I'd say that your were knackered!'

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Jelly I.V.

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Tin Can Operation.

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.