Healthcare Comic Gifts

Golf cart in the hospital.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I don't leave home without it!"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

Orthopaedist

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

'Doctor, I thought I was the one who was supposed to say Ahh.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff