Healthcare Comics Aficionados Gifts

'For Valentine's Day!'

'I suppose you thought it was funny paying your last bill with these and a note saying 'Take two of these every hour until we're settled up.''

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

Orthopaedist

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

Golf cart in the hospital.

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

Hospital Gift Shop

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Now where was I?"

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

"Take one three times a day after meals."

"I hope for your sake that my watch stopped!"

Well, it's a heck of a time to demand a second opinion.

'Too many tv dinners I'm afraid.'

'Botched attempt is correct. But can anyone suggest a more family-friendly way of describing what happened?'

"Lucky we caught it early. It's easier to treat in the larva stage."

'You are supposed to hit the knee.'