Hospital Comic Relief Gifts

'Now, I know I came in here for something!'

Man with cast in rude gesture.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Quick! 5-second rule!

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

Do you think I have a problem delegating?

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

'I don't want bread crumbs. I'd prefer some money to buy a cheeseburger.'

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'20 of medical opinion may change every five years...but it wont be the 20 that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you.'

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Birdcage and Man cover their heads at nighttime.