Hospital Life Aficionado Gifts

'He's taken a turn for the worse.'

"Of course we're fully staffed. One nurse to do the work, two to report on the work and three to monitor the reports on the work..."

'I'm afraid there's no change in your condition, Mrs Hadfield...You're still deceased...'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'What's holding him up?'

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Urology...can you hold?'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."