Hospital Life Enthusiast Gifts

'Did you notice if this device was making a little clicking sound about an hour ago?'

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

'-and I'd like an estimate before you open her up.'

'Lunch!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'And how are you this fine day Mr. Simkins?'

"Your pulse is running a little fast."

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'What's holding him up?'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?