Hospital Life Explorer Gifts

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'

"If it's any consolation, he seemed like a bit of a jerk."

'Now turn your head to the left and cough up your medical card.'

'There's been a little mixup, Mr. Root. The computer has the virus not you.'

'How come I got a baboon liver and pig kidney, and he got a baboon kidney and pig liver?'

'We don't make mistakes in this hospital, Mr Adams,,,' - 'My name is Wiliams'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'What's holding him up?'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Long shift?'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

'Urology...can you hold?'

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."