Literary Healer Gifts

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

Self help acupuncture

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Junior Doctor.

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

"Preparing for another day nursing?"

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

'I'm giving you a referral to Bobby Smith down the street.'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

Traumatology.

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

'Got anything for a headache?'

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

Medical Arts Building

"My super-vision sees...someone yelling at his elders...Cousin Cecilia sneaking out her window...someone making a spinach burrito... No! I must stay focused...and find the evil villain mal de ojo!"

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"Race you to the spleen!"