Humor-loving Healer Gifts

"Race you to the spleen!"

Self help acupuncture

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

"Let the healing begin!"

Dancing Doctor

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

"It's cooties."

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

'Spin GP'

"I believe doctors write too many prescriptions, Mr. Martin. I'm writing you a sonnet."

'Thanks for not letting cancer define who you are.'

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'

Get well soon.

'He tries to stay happy in his work.'

'Tell the doctor to take his time -- I'm feeling better already.'

"Yes, hello. I'm hoping you've found a cure for my hiccups...but I'm not holding my breath!"

Acupuncture Treatment Room. My acupuncturist used placebos on me today.

"If she still feels pain with the regular placebo, we try again withe extra-strength placebo!"

"Actually, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of living in a world of Trump and Putin!"

"The bad news is you do have a lump the size of a golf ball. The good news is my tests indicate it's just a golf ball."