Believer In Faith Healing Gifts

'what do you mean 'Don't expect miracles'? Why shouldn't I expect miracles?'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"You're solemates!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

"Holy water, holy water...."

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

'Church of the Divine Healing with an Emergency Room.'

"Your recovery has defied all known science...so let's just keep this between ourselves!"

Lourdes - wheelchairs left behind.

Miracles on 34th Street.

Give Thanks.

'You had a good idea in our staff meeting yesterday. So, the church sent someone over to witness the miracle.'

'Hey, Naomi, remember last week when you said nothing short of a miracle could save MicroTechnoCom from bankruptcy?'

"Typical. You don't even know what's impossible!"

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

'I might be able to get you off if a chain of near miraculous rulings happen to occur.'

Help Wanted: Faith Healer Healthcare Provider.

'Hey, good news, we had a look at the X-rays. Turns out, God is on your side.'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

'That lumbago you just got rid of - you gave to me!'

Moses Uses God-Given Powers To Protect His Sandcastle

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

Guardian Angels and Operations