Spirituality Practitioner Gifts

'My spirit guide told me your inner child really needs a speeding ticket.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Home depot."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

My God, I need to fart.

Cactus seats.

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Quantum Psychic

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Guru.

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"Make me one with everything!"

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

All we have in life is this moment...

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"Hoarder."

Saying Grace.

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."