Quirky Spiritual Leader Gifts

"A representative from headquarters to see you, sir."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Home depot."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Priest

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Guru.

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'Is there something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?'

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'