Quirky Leader Gifts

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

Victorian Gentleman

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Joint Ventures!

Cat Boss

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

Real Estate Personals

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

"I beg to differ."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"No more Dr Nice guy"