Quirky Manager Gifts

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

Microbe manager.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Joint Ventures!

Cat Boss

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

Self-Employment

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

"No more Dr Nice guy"

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

'That line means good managerial skills!'

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

"Retirement will be a pipe dream for many of us...we need to explore new careers for later life."

'You'll find, Smith, that there's a very relaxed atmosphere in this office.'

'If hired, where do you see yourself with the company in five years?'

'Now, now, Mancini, we all have to start somewhere!'

'This is where we bring people we're thinking of hiring as decision makers.'

"Here's my card, sweetie. I also happen to do a bit of lawyering on the side."