Quirky Supermarket Manager Gifts

'Sorry sir, no personal trolleys allowed in the store.'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only One Item or Fewer.

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

Price may vary with weather.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Low Hanging Fruit

Attack of the 'health' foods

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

Self-Employment

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

'The stuff legends are made of'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

'Where did you get the meat slicer? France.'