Supermarket Manager Gifts

"Packaging waste is bad for the environment. That's why we're selling canned soup without cans."

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

In the interests of hygiene, please use the tongs provided

'It's local. Grown here on the east coast, frozen and packaged on the west coast, and shipped back.'

'Is it wrong to accept a loyalty card from more than one supermarket, Father?'

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

All Produce Locally Grown in this Hemisphere.

Waitrose stock non standardised fruit.

"We're overstocked."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Why have you brought me here?"

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'

'Most people are worried about this - According to a Gallup pole.'

Automatic check out

'I'd heard that they like to source their food locally'

"Can you sprinkle these maggots around. We don't want people thinking everything's covered in pesticide."

That was 16 items.

"What this country needs is less math education, not more."

Price may vary with weather.

"Am I going crazy or was this place Korean just last week?"

8 Foodscare products or less.

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

'I heard the manager's picking up his new company car today.'

'Out test show that your haddock is really flounder, your flounder is cod, your cod is tilapia, and your tilapia is chicken.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'We're all slimming from the manager down!'

Supermarket Price Wars.

'That was a successful trip, three for the price of two at the supermarket.'

"I think we must have accidentally set the freezers in Fahrenheit instead of Celsius."

Till malfunction

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

Everything a pound...