Supermarket Employees Gifts

Bicycle race.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Thank you, Essential Workers

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only One Item or Fewer.

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Price may vary with weather.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Low Hanging Fruit

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

Biker chopper shopper

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'