Grocery Store Staff Gifts

Meteorite cleanup

Snowman tries on carrot noses.

"That's our New York style deli foods section."

"The customers seem to like the boss's idea!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

Bad for you but to die for

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Thank you, Essential Workers

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Important Food Groups

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

Only One Item or Fewer.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Hand sanitizer

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

Don't have a hot flush....

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Artificial Isle

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'