Grocery Store Clerks Gifts

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Bad for you but to die for

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Thank you, Essential Workers

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

Only One Item or Fewer.

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

Don't have a hot flush....

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Biker chopper shopper

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'