Store Clerk Gifts

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

'It allows you to run every day, rain or shine. Even if it breaks down, just call us ? we'll give you the runaround.'

'Don't worry...the built in obsolescence will kick in before your child has a chance to break it.'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'No, you probably won't find what you need and I'm not going to help you look for it!'

"Do you have any get well cards for characters on soap operas?"

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'You give me one third, another third to the cashier near the escalator, and the balance before leaving the store.'

'It's going to be all right, sir. Just slow down and tell me how long you've been lost.'

"The markup isn't great, but think of the sales per square foot of floor space we get with this item!"

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

"Mr. Colton, do we stand behind our products?"

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'

'Mam, I can't ring this up. It doesn't have a barcode.'

How to close a 24/7 mini-mart...

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

'Phew! - Thank goodness today is over. Now we can take off these ridiculous glasses.'

'Absolutely - it does make you look thinner!'

Mannequin's Rights.

"Whoa, a dual-action airbrush kit with a 6-foot hose! How much is this?"

"Trainee lesson no. 1...if you look busy, no one will bother you."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'If she doesn't get well, do I get a refund?'

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'Oh come now-you don't think it will be that easy, do you?'

'This is our new camouflage hat.'

"We heard you were swamped with people wanting to buy that livestock de-wormer to treat covid symptoms. . ."

The Sales Assistants Ruined Chance to Dazzle.

At the fashion store

"Why aren't my photos ready YET???"

".....but not library cards."

"I need something heavier. He survived the aluminium skillet."

"You're not very friendly. I just asked about your weekend. So what if I don't know you? It's a harmless question!! Why do you have to be so rude?!"