Drugstore Clerk Gifts

Employment Office. You got a job on the early shift at the drugstore? What'll you be doing? Probably waking up the sleeping pills.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"Would you like to try them out?"

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

University Book Store.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

How much would you take off for cash?

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."