Store Clerks Gifts

'Excuse me, sir? Would you mind buying three of these for me? I'm over the limit.'

"Building fund not going well, Reverend?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Would you like to try them out?"

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

A man sitting in the grass reading

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

University Book Store.

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

How much would you take off for cash?

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

Mozart's improvisational skills, along with his lack of financial security, often led to brilliant inspiration.

'Are these mushrooms edible?'