Bookstore Clerks Gifts

"I need names and credit card receipts for everyone who bought Chicken Soup for the Terrorist's Soul."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

Cook in the cookery section.

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

A man sitting in the grass reading

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

University Book Store.

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

How much would you take off for cash?

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'