Bookstore Cashier Gifts

'I need names and credit card receipts for everyone who bought Chicken Soup for the Terrorist's Soul.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

Not much money, glory, or praise

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Fries and kids

Cook in the cookery section.

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

A man sitting in the grass reading

University Book Store.

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

Self-Checkout.

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'