Bookstore Cashier Gifts

'I need names and credit card receipts for everyone who bought Chicken Soup for the Terrorist's Soul.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Not much money, glory, or praise

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Fries and kids

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

Cook in the cookery section.

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

University Book Store.

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

Self-Checkout.

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

A man sitting in the grass reading

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'