Retail Cashier Gifts

'What have you got in the way of a Cabernet Sauvignon for people who like Zinfandel when they can't find Merlot?'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"How was work?"

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Not much money, glory, or praise

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Hand sanitizer

Fries and kids

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

Self-Checkout.

'Somebody keeps snapping all the stud boards in half. Anybody know anything about this?'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

One latte? That'll be $4.50. That apple fritter sounds good. I'll have that too. Ok. Anything else? No, that's it. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. That's all. That'll be $9.00 even. Ooh, are those macaroons fresh? I'll have a macaroon too. One latte, one apple fritter and one macaroon, and that's it. Well what are you waiting for? I don't have all day.

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

Piggy Bank ATM

They think they're so great just because they're worth more! Petty cash.

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"