Supermarket Cashier Gifts

'Cashier number four... Maggie is due her tea break.'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Not much money, glory, or praise

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Fries and kids

Price may vary with weather.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Low Hanging Fruit

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

Self-Checkout.

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'