Supermarket Shopper Gifts

"Leave those,dear - I bought some at the supermarket."

'I blame the sandwich I bought at Tesco. It probably had the wrong bio ethanol mix!'

Complex Carbs

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Everything's gone up."

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Unusual Offers

Witches Checkout.

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Personal Assistants.

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

Alphabet soup

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Low Hanging Fruit

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

Fashion Mistake.

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.