Store Cashier Gifts

'You've got more than one loyalty card? That's despicable.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Not much money, glory, or praise

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Fries and kids

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

Self-Checkout.

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

One latte? That'll be $4.50. That apple fritter sounds good. I'll have that too. Ok. Anything else? No, that's it. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. That's all. That'll be $9.00 even. Ooh, are those macaroons fresh? I'll have a macaroon too. One latte, one apple fritter and one macaroon, and that's it. Well what are you waiting for? I don't have all day.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

Piggy Bank ATM