Store Cashier Gifts

'You've got more than one loyalty card? That's despicable.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Fries and kids

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Self-Checkout.

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

"You can go home now, Barmpot - we've balanced."

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

Piggy Bank ATM

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."