Bank Cashier Gifts

'Mrs. Ferguson hasn't been overdrawn for over a month - I hope she's okay?'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

Fries and kids

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

Self-Checkout.

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

'Actually, we were hoping you could loan some money to us.'

One latte? That'll be $4.50. That apple fritter sounds good. I'll have that too. Ok. Anything else? No, that's it. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. That's all. That'll be $9.00 even. Ooh, are those macaroons fresh? I'll have a macaroon too. One latte, one apple fritter and one macaroon, and that's it. Well what are you waiting for? I don't have all day.

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

Piggy Bank ATM

Do not feed the clerks.

They think they're so great just because they're worth more! Petty cash.

Fake Counterfeit Money

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"