Grocery Store Cashier Gifts

"Have you tried our new Postman flavor?"

"Cellulose pulp or polyethene?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Bad for you but to die for

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Thank you, Essential Workers

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Not much money, glory, or praise

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

Fries and kids

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

Don't have a hot flush....

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Self-Checkout.

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.