Grocery Store Cashier T-Shirts

"Have you tried our new Postman flavor?"

"Cellulose pulp or polyethene?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Bad for you but to die for

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Thank you, Essential Workers

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Not much money, glory, or praise

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Fries and kids

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Self-Checkout.

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'