Grocery Worker Gifts

Thank you, Essential Workers

Shopping trolley testing department: 'That one went exactly where you wanted it to go, I'm going to have to fail it.'

The shakedown escalates.

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

Union Hotdog...no scabs or other filler.

'It's still scanning as a zebra but like you say, it's definitely a horse.'

I'm charging you a dollar for whatever's in your mouth.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

Bad for you but to die for

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Another day in the Splenda mines

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

Only One Item or Fewer.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Ghostbasters 3

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

Don't have a hot flush....

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

Biker chopper shopper

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

Artificial Isle

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)