Grocery Manager Gifts

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Bad for you but to die for

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Thank you, Essential Workers

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Important Food Groups

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Price may vary with weather.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

Don't have a hot flush....

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

Low Hanging Fruit

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

Artificial Isle

Biker chopper shopper