Bookstore Clerks T-Shirts

"I need names and credit card receipts for everyone who bought Chicken Soup for the Terrorist's Soul."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Cook in the cookery section.

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

A man sitting in the grass reading

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

University Book Store.

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Actually, could you just e-mail me your electronic signature? Meet the author.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'