Bookstore Employee T-Shirts

You'll see, Chet; sales will pick up as soon as this whole Internet fad blows over.'

"We've moved a few things around. Travel books are in the Fantasy section, Politics is in Sci-Fi, and Epidemiology is in Self-Help. Good luck."

Will take headphones off and stop ignoring people at...

Health and Safety Guidelines.

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"There's an informal Q. and A., and then, afterward, the author's sad flirting with some fan."

'Have you got any self-help books?'

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'I've just finished reading your last book. At least I hope it is!'

'What have you got on how to apply for Government handouts?'

'That book about brushing your cat's teeth...you should move it to the humor section.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'Look,Mum, that poor man's got toothache too!'

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

'Have you got any self-help books?'

"I'm returning this book, 'Being Popular and Making Friends', Fatty."

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

Health Book Section

"Could you point me towards your 'Dummies' section?"

"He's so crooked even his autobiography is based on a true story."

"My Life As A Time Traveller" Book Signing Yesterday

"Do you have 'Computers for Dummies, Stupid People, Morons, and Complete Idiots'?"

"Of course, this policy will exclude flood damage."

"Do you like Kipling?"

"I'll check, but you know what they say – if a story sounds too good to be true, it's probably sold out."

Summer Reads - Fall Reads!

"Do you have anything positive on the Kennedys?"

Be the Author

"Just what, may I ask, do you think you're doing, Jennings?"

"Hold on. What about this stack of books in matching colors?"

'Where's fiction? This is self-help. Go find it yourself!'

BOOKSHOP, 'Do you have 'Books for Dummies'?' 'Well, duh!'

'Yes, we have that book, it's in the back room. You can't buy it, unless you have a doctor's prescription.'