Shop Clerks Gifts

Man literally having a key cut.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

Stationery Shop

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"I'd say business was brisk."

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

SupermarketAwful Market.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

A Lady Out Shopping.

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Uh-oh.'

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

Down on Her.

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'But what do you sell?'

Marketing - Learn from customers' buying patterns...

Mom $50 Pop $35

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'