Shopkeeper Gifts

'I bought this energy saving bulb in your shop, but it doesn't work.'

'He says we have to change our name to the Kilo Shop.'

'Hello, Trading Standards...I've taken delivery of goods that may not be genuine.'

Employees must wash hands.

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

'You still don't understand the metric system do you?'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

What's wrong with those fish? Long time, no sea!

'This clock you sold me loses fifteen minutes every hour!'

'Let's call it even; you sell me the phony Louis Vuitton and I'll pay for it with this phony hundred.'

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

'Would you like a piece of advice, Mr. Salmonella?'

Books: Closed Down Due To Exasperation.

'Do you have any other form of I.D. besides your head on a pound note?'

'Mister Benn.'

'Hey!! Those aren't free you know!!'

'I realized there was no store in the neighborhood where you could biy a book and you could also buy a pot.'

Priceless antiques priced to sell!

Bull in china shop, "Err, I don't think you are quite right for the job."

Man eating a bad oyster

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

"No, thanks. I'm just looting."

Everything Must Go!!

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"Your lease is up" threatening letter.

'Well in your price range, all you can afford is the box...'

'Heads up!!'

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'

The Medical Student

'Got anything for around