Storekeeper Gifts

"Now then, what does Madam desire?"

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'Everybody needs candy. Everybody needs stationery. Everybody needs microcomputers.'

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

'No, no white wine, just a couple cases of '64 Chateau Beychevelle back there between the beans and the diapers - five bucks each.'

'We're out of dohickeys. I recommend a thingamabob as a substitute.'

Absolutely No Chemicals, Preservatives or Additives

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"I didn't spark joy."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Sheep Ledger

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Bathroom Fairy

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

Stationery Shop

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

'The King of what?'

Cook and her Maids

Gone Bookkeepin'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."