Shopkeepers Gifts

'Buy plain packet cigarettes - get free coloured pens to make your own packet design.'

The shopkeeper hadn't met them before, but they seemed like pretty cool customers.

"In this mall, my fellow shopkeepers are my best customers."

Stores of Mystery

An impolite young man making an order

'I need an hours sleep.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

SALE

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Everything's gone up."

Stationery Shop

'I'm sorry, sir, but our happy hour doesn't start for another fifteen minutes.'

"I'd say business was brisk."

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

Orderly Conduct of Sales

SupermarketAwful Market.

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

'Uh-oh.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Down on Her.

'But what do you sell?'

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Fashion Mistake.

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...