Shopkeepers Pillows

'Buy plain packet cigarettes - get free coloured pens to make your own packet design.'

The shopkeeper hadn't met them before, but they seemed like pretty cool customers.

"In this mall, my fellow shopkeepers are my best customers."

Stores of Mystery

Sundials. They're obviously knock-offs, or they wouldn't be so cheap.

An impolite young man making an order

'I need an hours sleep.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

SALE

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Everything's gone up."

Stationery Shop

'I'm sorry, sir, but our happy hour doesn't start for another fifteen minutes.'

"I'd say business was brisk."

Orderly Conduct of Sales

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

SupermarketAwful Market.

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

'Uh-oh.'

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Down on Her.

Marketing - Learn from customers' buying patterns...

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns